True Love

I have been in love before. But there have been a couple problems with my love. One, the guy I have been in love with, our on and off relationships have lasted a max of 2 months. My longest relationship is 2 months and 13 days and that was in 7th grade.. The closest I’ve came to that is 2 months and 10 days with the guy I am referring to. :/ Second, I have never had a good love. Not one that made me want to take a ton of pictures of us and post them on all social networks. The ex I am referring to, I wanted to do all that but we were long distance and he didn’t love me enough (I assume) to come down here and see me.

So, I have decided that I am giving up. I am giving God complete control over my love life. When I saw a cute guy, I used to be very bold and go up to him and ask for his number or add him on Facebook. I used to be the chaser. But now, I am going to let the guys come to me. Have them chase me. I want a guy to chase me soo bad. I want a guy to fight for me. I want a guy to like me for me and not want just sex from me. There have 3 guys that I have had really great dates with (well only 2 I have had dates with) and the other one, we just snap chatted and texted a lot and all 3 of them made me happy. All 3 made me feel special and like they wanted me. One of them even did a kiss that he grabbed my face and pulled it to him (like the one in the middle of the collage–my favorite pic and the one thing I love when a guy does and you can tell he really wants to kiss her) but 1 of them said he only wanted a hookup. The other 2 have persisted in asking for sex. As I told my guy friend, I suspect I am unlovable and just fuckable (excuse my language but it makes sense with that word). He told me to hush and to not talk like that. But it’s true…


Collage Information: I stole these pics from Instagram because this is the type of love I want. A guy that will take cute kissy photos with me to post. A guy that looks like he loves me, which is what these guys look like. My favorite photo is the center of the collage because it’s the one thing I have always wanted in a relationship. <<Of course the guy who does it to me, doesn’t want me for anything but sex..




Mothers! Ugh!

Is it just my mother or do all mothers try to hook their child up with someone? I just broke up with my x (had no choice) last tuesday and already mom is trying to hook me up with someone… Apparently, his first name is after someone in the Bible and she figures that because of that, it means he is a Godly man.. A guy’s name doesn’t make him who he is. I know a guy named Luke and he is a jerk who is only after sex.. Now, what does that mean? Just because someone is named after someone heroic or Godly does not make that person heroic or Godly. 

And I am still in love with my x.. so I am definitely not ready to date someone so soon. I haven’t been single for two weeks. Ugh. Thanks mom for caring about your daughter’s feelings. And for staying out of her personal life. I understand she wants to like the guy I date but usually when she finds a guy for me, he is all sweet to her face (well duh! he is putting on a show!) but he is a jerk to me.. Just because he is nice to you, an elder, does not mean he is nice to your daughter.